Wednesday, March 9, 2011

RTW: I would have given anything to be like...

First, did you all enter the LIKE MANDARIN giveaway on YA Highway yet? For the full effect of this week's prompt, read the main RTW post on YA Highway, or better yet, read LIKE MANDARIN ;)

Well, I thought about this long and hard. And I concluded that I never had a sole Mandarin in my life. But there were a lot of times in high school where I would look at some other girl and think, what would it be like to be her? I don't know how I appeared in high school, but I felt like I was kind of awkward. I wasn't really any particular...thing. I was just sort of there. Not outgoing enough to be noticed by everyone, not weird enough to be one of those kids who just owns their weirdness. So from time to time, I would just latch onto a particular person in my mind, and wish I could be more like them.

There wasn't really a common thread between the girls I wanted to be like, except a pure confidence--or appearance of confidence--in who they were. In retrospect, I'm sure all the other girls at my high school felt awkward about themselves, just like I did, if not necessarily for the same reasons. But as a teen, I didn't think of it that way, and I thought that maybe someday I would feel confident like that too, and comfortable with myself. (Which, over time, did happen.)

13 comments:

Sarah Enni said...

CONFIDENCE. It was like this High School Holy Grail that we were all seeking and never found. But I was so so positive that other people had found it. Oh man.

Erinn said...

confidence, Sarah is RIGHT that is the holy grail of high school. I would have LOVED to have some on that.

Alicia Gregoire said...

You're so dead on here. Confidence really is a HUGE thing.

Pam Harris said...

Yes!! I always envied the confident girls--or at least they appeared confident to me. :)

Kirsten Hubbard said...

agreed with everyone. I had it in small doses, on occasion, usually when I had one of my friends beside me -- but all alone in 9th or 10th grade, I was terrified!

Kate Hart said...

Usually, when I had confidence in HS, it meant I was about to do something ridiculously stupid. So it's probably good I didn't have more.

Katy said...

I think you and I were on the same wave length when we wrote our posts. I wanted to be the people who exuded confidence too. :)

Michelle Schusterman said...

(lol @ kate)

I agree - I think a lot of what we perceived as confidence in HS when we looked at others...wasn't. On some level, all teens feel awkward sometimes!

Mother Becky said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rebecca B said...

Very perceptive! Funny how whether it's the people we want to be like or the people we want to be with--confidence makes both attractive.

Medeia Sharif said...

I wondered what it was like to be popular in high school, since I wasn't.

I look forward to reading my copy of LIKE MANDARIN.

Leila Austin said...

Yeah. It was all about confidence back then, and people who supposedly had it. If only there'd been a way to see what was really going on inside their heads!

Tere Kirkland said...

Loving this book for its ability to make me feel just as confused and angsty as my old teen self. I emulated a lot of people before I realized that the best bet was to just be myself. If other people don't like me for who I am, well, it's their loss.

Great post!