Friday, June 10, 2011

Divergent Challenge: A Dauntless Post for a Dauntless Week

I didn't actually seek out Dauntless this week, because it sort of found me before I could. Most of my Dauntlessness came earlier in the week, but writing this post itself is feeling kind of Dauntless right now.

Last week, my agent left agenting. It's hard for me to decide how much to say about this situation, because most of you probably already know who my agent was, and if you don't, I'm sure it's not hard for you to figure it out. And also, posting about something bad that happened with an agent, to me, feels like I'm airing some really personal business. So it's pretty scary.

So suffice it to say, this was all sudden, and ultimately revealed some not good things. I think everything is for the best and I am going to be fine, but it was at the beginning of the week when it really started to hit that I was suddenly agentless, and it was also the beginning of this week when I had to deal with the details of it. Which involved me doing some dauntless things: calling someone on the phone who I didn't know. I do not like calling people on the phone not in the least bit, and on top of that knowing that I had to be prepared to be stern, if need be (I didn't need to be). This was a nightmare scenario.

I also had to wrap my mind around the fact that I was on my own again, and that I'm going to have to query again. Coming to terms with that has been a little bit hard, but I do think I've reached acceptance now. I'm at square one, but not really. And while this was obviously a bad event for me, it's also shown me a resoundingly positive side to so many people, and I've felt supported and was reminded how much I truly love the YA community, as strange as that might sound. All the people who helped me or offered to help me or listened to me gripe this week, you can't know how much I've appreciated it, and you're all truly wonderful.

Also, unrelatedly, I made a really poor decision involving my television that I won't describe for you all but I'm lucky that I still have an unbroken TV and two unbroken feet. I realize that sounds like I tried to kick it. I didn't. I tried to move it. We have not yet upgraded to a flat screen TV. I think ours might weigh as much as I do. I wish I were exaggerating. So that was Dauntless in the sense that a Dauntless person would fearlessly take on their television, even against better judgement.

Were you Dauntless this week?

16 comments:

Kirsten Hubbard said...

I'm glad you're talking about this, Kaits. everything's going to work out for you and your book, but I know this is the kind of setback that aches. there are definitely silver linings in this particular situation, though, and I can't wait to see what's in store for your career.

Kirsten Hubbard said...

(books PLURAL.)

Michelle Schusterman said...

KARMA. You know I believe in that shit, Kaits. You have done everything right and despite this setback, I absolutely, positively know things are going to work out for you.

Also, I have been there with the TV! My dad tried to have me help him move our new enormous and not-flat screen TV when I was 16, which resulted in us dragging it in the house on a sheet. :)

Phoebe said...

Yay for honesty. While I think it's really brave to talk about this stuff, I think it's so, so important, too. So many writers have been where you have (and will be, in the future) and it's always good to let people know they're not alone. <3

(now gimme that book to beta read.)

Sarah Enni said...

KAITLIN. You are so supremely Dauntless in the face of this agent snafu. (And I mean that in the real, hardcore sense of that acronym.) And calling someone you don't know to get real about a situation they didn't create, is about as Dauntless as I can imagine.

Way to rock that and stand up for yourself, lady.

And OMG Dr F had this MONSTROUS television when we were in college and he really truly thought we would move with it. A 48" tube television. I laughed in his face and made him Craigslist it. BUT then some joker from Oregon showed up in a pickup and they, alone, two dudes, had to carry a 300 lb television across the house, down two sets of stairs, and into a 4X4. What even.

I certainly hope you weren't lifting something similar yourself!

Marilyn Almodóvar said...

Thanks for sharing! I'm sure it took a lot of courage to do so, and even more sure that you are going to be back on your feet and with an agent in no time.

kara said...

Kaitlin~ I feel your pain. This just happened to me a little less than a month ago. Keep positive, and believe that this must have happened for a reason. In my situation, once I recovered from shock and started querying again, I got requests for 7 fulls within a week and currently have 5 offers! So even though I was devastated, I now understand that I am in a better situation that before. Best of luck, and keep us all posted!

Christina Lee said...

((hugs tight)) You will rock hard, just you wait and see. A learning curve for all of us! THX for saying it out loud! xoxo

Stephanie S. Kuehn said...

Aw, Kaitlin, you know I understand all too well what you're going through. There's nothing fun about it, but you are more than dauntless. You're talented and strong and gracious and there are so many wonderful things on the road ahead for you.

Lydia K said...

That's so awful, and yet you are probably better off without that agent. If you made it that far, you will still be published, I'm sure of it.

Jamie B said...

Kaitin, I've been thinking about you since this news "broke". I'm sorry it had to be this way for you, but think of it as a second chance to get someone even better behind you and your! I did! :) It's going to work out as a blessing for you!

Debra D. said...

Kaitlin, you are awesome AND dauntless! So sorry about the agent thing, but this is going to work out for the best, I have no doubts!

Also--OMG on the TV! Hubs tried to MacGyver our last one out of its niche with bungies and ended up breaking our glass coffee table. Fun times! ;)

Claire Dawn said...

I heard about this situation, but I didn't know who the agent was. Now, obviously I do.

It's weird because I consider myself educated on the crazy publishing world, and think I research agents well and all that. But this one threw me for a loop.

I'm glad you came through alright. :S

Kayla Cagan said...

Hi Kaitlin,

You don't know me, but we shared the same agent. And in the last 17 days, I've had to deal with the same situation. Sorry, I'm not trying to be cryptic, just not trying to reveal too many personal details about her. Anyway, I'm struggling with a similar situation - I can stay with said agency, but am looking for a new one, and luckily, have some good connections. We'll see what happens.

Anyway, good luck to you and stay strong. I'm sure we will both be in safer hands soon.

Best of luck!

Krista Ashe said...

I wondered how I had missed this post, and then I realized I was thinking it was part of the challenge posts.

Once again, I hate this happened and I look forward to awesome things for you.....and for me since we're in a similar boat!

Kathleen Peacock said...

((hug))

Kaitlin, am so sorry -- just seeing this now.

You will find another agent. You're way too fab not to!